My Little Kaiju: Ponies are Weird
by lazerbem
Summary: The Breach has been closed. The world saved from hordes of kaiju. However the kaiju did not just disappear. The kaiju have reincarnated as ponies. Will the kaiju lose their minds or will they learn the magic of friendship?
1. Chapter 1

Knifehead roared in triumph as he stabbed his head through the large Jaeger that had attacked him. Normally Knifehead(or as he was originally called before being engineered, Smila) would have been swimming in toxic magma enjoying a meal of fish-like creatures. However when the Precursors captured and "improved" him, they also stuck a control chip in his brain that could kill Knifehead remotely if need be and thus Knifehead now served the Precursors' will. Knifehead reached out with one of his upper arms grabbing at the cockpit of the Jaeger. From what the Precursors said that was where the pilots were in it and so it was a prime target. Knifehead felt his claws clench through the armor on the Jaeger's head before he tore a part of it clean off. Knifehead, now confident in his victory, continued slashing with little purpose other than to assert his dominance over the mech. In his blind rage, Knifehead failed to notice the glow of the Jaeger's remaining plasma canon starting to intensify. Finally, the plasma cannon started to crackle as destructive energies collected around the barrel. Knifehead looked down just in time for a confused grunt before the plasma cannon fired, ripping a hole through his chest and ending his life as his chest imploded.

Knifehead groaned, attempting to clear his pounding head. He got to his feet for a few seconds before falling face first into the dirt. Knifehead sighed before going down on all four hooves..wait, hooves? Knifehead screeched in horror before losing his balance again and falling into a puddle. Knifehead took a deep breath stabilizing his heart rate somewhat before attempting to get up again. This time he succeeded and he looked at his reflection. He was now a furry, almost plush looking creature with yellow skin. He had a mane that turned into one long bang that dripped past his now normal snout. Knifehead looked back to see if he could still move his tail and saw it had been turned into a braided, fluffy accessory. The final thing Knifehead noticed was a mark on his flank of a sword. Knifehead patiently waited for a a minute or so before realizing he couldn't feel the Precursors' orders. Knifehead practically leapt for joy with all the happiness of a freed slave. Knifehead scouted the surroundings, attempting to figure out his location only to see trees,more trees, and every tree. Knifehead was confused as to what kind of trees were these before remembering his change of shape and presumably size. Knifehead thought to himself for the first time in his life and began to plan a route. His plans were interrupted by low growl from the trees behind him.

Knifehead then said his first word "Oh #$(or a rough translation of kaiju snot)"

Twilight stepped through the marshy ground doing her best to ignore her friend's complaining.

"Why do you need to wake me up to take on your little science expedition?" Rainbow Dash groaned for the third time in a row.

Twilight sighed before replying "Like I've said two other times Rainbow, we're investigating a large magical portal that just appeared in the EverFree forest. I woke you because you're the only one I could find on short notice"

Rainbow kept on moaning and mumbling her discontent while Twilight scanned the area with her horn for a magical signature. Suddenly the portal signature stopped all together ending Twilight's quest. The end of the magic signature coincided with a loud roar. Before Twilight could put a name to the sound, she was bowled over by a blur of yellow fur. The earth pony that had crashed into her was in the middle of spitting incomprehensible growls and squeals. That was odd Twilight thought. Most ponies couldn't make "bestial noises". Rainbow Dash interrupted Twilight's thoughts with a quick headbutt.

"Move it Twi! There's a dragon chasing that guy!" Rainbow screamed into Twilight's ear. Twilight got up and saw the huge scaly body of a dragon charging towards them. Suddenly, Twilight recognized him and began to laugh. Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a dirty look, attempting to shut up the purple unicorn.

"Hey Basil!" Twilight yelled at the dragon. Basil screeched to a halt in shock at someone knowing his name. Only a six ponies knew that. Basil looked at the unicorn and realized ,with a twinge of fear, that this was the one who was friends with the yellow Dovahkin.

Basil practically fell to his knees and started to beg. "No please! I'm sorry just don't set the yellow Dovahkin on me!" the red dragon wailed.

"Go back to your cave and I'll think about it" Twilight responded. Basil nodded quickly and flapped his wings as fast as he could before lifting off and heading back to his cave. Twilight then gave the yellow pony a venomous look. "If that dragon had reached Ponyville it would've been destroyed! What were you doing bothering a dragon?" Twilight questioned. Knifehead felt his brain fall apart. From the data the Precursors had gave him equines couldn't talk. In fact no creature on Earth could talk save for humans. Knifehead decided this was all a dream and so punched himself in the face.

Rainbow Dash stared incredulously at the yellow pony who had just punched himself in the face. He staggered a bit before falling face first in the dirt. Rainbow rolled one arm underneath his right side while Twilight supported the other.

"I knew I should have stayed in bed" Rainbow groaned.

A few hours later Knifehead felt the world come back into focus. He looked at his hoof and nearly punched himself again when suddenly he noticed he was in a bed of sorts. He looked around the room with distaste. How icky that they used dead trees to make the walls! Knifehead would always prefer some magma or maybe a tissue bed. His ears flicked involuntarily towards the conversation in front of him.

"Maybe he came through the portal" the purple pony suggested. There were five other ponies including the rainbow one he had seen earlier.

"That ain't neccesarily a good thing Twi, what if they're evil on the other side?" an accented-possibly southern according to Knifehead's database-voice spat

"Yeah, look at his cutie mark. Nice people don't have swords for cutie marks" the rainbow one agreed. Knifehead screamed in horror and looked at his flank. Cutie mark?! That was ridiculous! He was a kaiju, a huge beast of untold power, not a plush, tiny creature with a "cutie mark"

"Look, he's up" a buttery yellow one said. She trotted over to him and asked "Are you alright mister?"

Knifehead didn't hear her as painful flashbacks slammed through his head. "Oh Precursors, Slattern will make fun of me again" he screeched piteously. For the third time that day Knifehead fainted


	2. Chapter 2

Knifehead screamed as a foot came down on his nose again. The kaiju sniffled before looking at his tormentor : Slattern

"What's wrong category 3?" the category 5 mocked before stomping on Knifehead again. Knifehead attempted to crawl away only to have Raiju grab his tail and drag him back. "Your kind is pathetic,you know acting like they're strong when really you're just fun for us!" Slattern slammed Knifehead one more time, this time resulting in a harsh crack as Knifehead's horn chipped. Slattern laughed at the tears rolling down Knifehead's face before walking off. Knifehead sat there for a while crying when a comforting claw touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that" Scunner said looking at Knifehead with pity. Scunner and Knifehead had been born from the same Smila DNA and were as close as kaiju got to to brothers. "I tried to hold them off but you know how they are" Scunner comforted the weeping category 3.

"At least it's not as bad as what happens to Onibaba and Trespasser" Knifehead sniffed hopefully.

"That's the spirit" Scunner said slapping Knifehead's back with both arms. "Now go sleep in your own flesh pit, you know how pissed the Precursors' get when your out past curfew" Knifehead shuddered as he remembered the pitiful cries of Mutavore as she had her pain receptors spiked with every sort of pain imaginable. Suddenly Scunner turned a neon pink with a pink mane. Knifehead shrieked like a Category 1 when Scunner started poking his eyelid.

The world swam back into focus as Knifehead saw a pink pony poking his eyelids. "What do you know, it worked!" she said excitedly. Just as he was about to scream again a zipper grew over his mouth, effectively shutting him up but also making him bite his tongue.

"Is that really necessary Twilight?" an alabaster pony with a horn asked. "Surely one with such good hair care can't be all bad" Knifehead stopped screaming as he gagged instead. That vile thing thought he was good looking?! He was in a disgusting,weak,furry body and she was gross enough to say he was cute?!

The one who was called Twilight looked at him and said "I'm going to unzip your mouth now, try not to scream because I don't want to round up Fluttershy's critters again" A few seconds later his mouth unzipped and he could talk again. "What were you doing waking up a dragon?" Twilight asked.

"It was not my fault, I appeared right next to him and accidentally stepped on his tail" Knifehead defended, snorting in the process.

"Appeared?" Twilight questioned. Knifehead carefully considered his next answer. Telling her he was a kaiju was sure to incite a panic judging by their reaction to the dragon. In the end Knifehead chose the safe option.

"I don't know, I can't remember anything before my appearance" Knifehead lied. Like all good lies it had a bit of truth in it. Knifehead certainly didn't remember anything before being created. "Where am I?" the kaiju scouted.

"Oh you're in Equestria, in Ponyville, in Fluttershy's cottage, ins-" the pink one started before having a hoof shoved in her mouth by the rainbow one.

"Don't tell him that Pinkie! What if he came through the portal? Twilight said it had a dark presence" the rainbow one spat with distaste. Knifehead leaned foward and, in the custom of horned kaiju, slammed his head into hers to assert his dominance. What he didn't expect was her pushing back "See he attacks me" she growled, shoving her head forward so her and Knifehead were caught in a impromtu pushing contest. Suddenly two orange hooves reached behind both of their heads and knocked them together.

"Will you two knock it off? Rainbow there was no reason to be so disrespecful and you didn't need to react so badly" the orange one yelled. Rainbow and Knifehead were to busy clutching their aching skulls to pay attention or care. "Terribly sorry about Rainbow sir, she gets a bit fiesty. My name's Applejack what's yours?" Applejack said extending a hoof as she did. Knifehead didn't know why but he felt he should use a different name than his real one. Perhaps it was some remnant of the Smila who he had once been.

"Cutting Edge, I specialize in, uh cutting things" Knifehead said pridefully in an attempt to throw them off the trail of his real name.

"Well Cutting Edge welcome to Ponyville" Applejack said, shaking his hoof violently and causing his one bang to flick around everywhere, an activity the alabaster one was currently swooning over. By the time the hoofshake was over, Cutting Edge felt like he had been punched by Onibaba. Not pleasant but not horrible either.

"Oh my such a lovely mane you have! My name is Rarity and I would very much appreciate if you let me touch it" Rarity said, struggling to hold a straight face.

"Sure, I guess" Cutting Edge said ignoring the warning signs the ponies were giving him and his own instincts. One hour later Cutting was regretting his decision

"Such beauty must be appreciated, Oh I know what to do!" Rarity said finally letting go of his bang as she jumped for joy. Cutting's relief was short and bitter. "I'll take you to the boutique and clean that grime out of it" she said happily. The ponies gave Cutting a look of pity as Rarity dragged the hapless earth pony away.

"Help she's killing me" Cutting wailed as he attempted to escape Rarity's magical grasp.

"Oh that gem will look handsome on you" Rarity said, absorbed in her work and not paying attention to his pleads. "Voila! There take a look" Rarity urged as she finally dropped him. Cutting looked at his reflection and gasped in horror. He was clean! How dare she defile what little beauty this body had by adding a brilliant garnet to his hair. He felt something twinge in his heart as he turned towards the expectant fashionista. Her eyes were so big and pretty, er ugly. He couldn't insult her not after all her hard work he decided. It was purely to keep her alleigance he told himself but in his heart he still felt something stir.

"I love it, your work is brilliant" Cutting complimented after a tense second.

"Brilliant! Well I hope I see you around Cutting" the unicorn said happily as she showed him to the door. When she walked away Cutting couldn't help but stare at the pony's perfect bottom as it swayed back and..damn it, there were those weird feelings again. Cutting shook his head as he looked around for a strong alcohol stand. He needed one to clear his head after that...experience.


	3. Chapter 3

Cutting walked as fast as he could towards the large tree at the back of the town. From what Rarity had told while she was "cleaning" him, this was where Twilight lived. Twilight was the least crazy pony, at least in his experience, so staying there was a natural choice. Hopefully she had some alcohol or something to clear his mind of that beautiful seductress with her..God Damn it! Cutting was so busy shaking his head like a rag doll, that he ran right into Twilight's door. Twilight opened the door, hitting the unfortunate earth pony in the face again.

"Oh I'm so sorry, do you want something?" Twilight asked the staggering pony.

"Yes, can I crash at your place for a bit?" Cutting asked, just now clearing the starbursts in his vision. Twilight nodded and opened the door, welcoming him in. Cutting nearly vomited right then and there. She had so many dead things! There must have been a hundred books at least. Kaiju found that the dead were disgusting and so all their homes were made of a living, symbiotic organism and the dead had their lives celebrated instead of their deaths mourned. Cutting remembered the last party he had been to was Yamarashi's death day. It had been fun remembering all the good things that had happened in the tentacled kaiju's life. Even Slattern found it in himself to show up. Swallowing back the bile in his throat, Cutting then checked out the bed she was pulling telekinetically with her horn. Telekinesis was something only Precursors could do and so Cutting almost fell on his knees begging for forgiveness before remembering that if she was a Precursor, she would've recognized him.

"How long do you plan on staying?" Twilight asked while she straightened out the sheets.

"Just for tonight while I find a caste" Cutting answered. Twilight looked at him with confusion

"Caste?" Twilight questioned with one eye ridge raised.

"What you're born to do" Cutting answered automatically. "My niche"

"Like a job?" Twilight pressed. Cutting frowned at this response. It was similar but not the same. A job implied choice while a kaiju never had any choice other than what they were made for. Cutting for example was heavy infantry and Raiju was heavy cavalry, but no matter how much they hated or loved their caste, the Precursors would not allow these roles to change. That was what had caused Mutavore to be punished. She had attempted to switch places for her lover, Trespasser, and had been punished for it. Obviously ponies didn't have this system so Cutting lied once more.

"Yes, like a job" he said, feeling guilty for some reason. Perhaps the atmosphere of this planet was affecting his brain. "I don't want to intrude but do you have any alcohol?"

"Sure, but why do you want it?" Twilight asked while opening the cupboard.

"I've had a ba-,err weird day" Cutting responded, his voice showing a bit of exhaustion. Suddenly he saw a small purple lizard. His heart exploded with happiness "Yes!" he cried even as he picked up the lizard and swung him around. "Another kaiju! How did you get here? I didn't see you in my flesh-pit" he said while snuggling the smaller kaiju.

"Kai-what now?" the creature questioned. Cutting felt his joy deflate as he checked the creature over again. In his excitement he had forgotten to smell check, the most important way to distinguish between kaiju and regular animals. Kaiju smelled very distinctively of silicon. This thing smelled of carbon instead. He dropped him sadly

"I see you've met my assistant and adopted son, Spike. Spike this is Cutting Edge and he'll be staying for a bit until he finds a job" the unicorn said, all the while pouring something called "Everclear".

"Hi Cutting Edge, sorry we can't talk longer but Twilight has a strict bedding schedule" the dragon said as he walked up the stairs. Cutting Edge felt sadder than he ever had as the truth of the situation sank in. He'd never see the other kaiju again because he was dead in their world. Not only that but his mind was starting to change perspective, perhaps to fit his new body. Cutting grabbed the cup Twilight offered and downed it in one gulp.

"Are you sure you should do that?" Twilight asked nervously while sipping at her own cup.

"I'll have you know I can handle my alcohol, Miss Twilight" Cutting said, feeling strangely offended. After all, he could handle drinks with ten percent alcohol, which was practically the record among kaiju. How could any drink a pony made be stronger? The moments after that were a blur of him chewing his own bang, attempting to show off how hard his head was by punching it, and taking five minutes to climb the stairs. Peace did not come to him in sleep however.

Cutting was in Rarity's boutique without warning. Just as he was about to sneak out, he smelled a a very distinctive scent. She was in heat. He walked into her room and saw her lying there, practically blaring an alarm that she was ready. A small string of drool went down Cutting's lips.

"I'm ready. Will you help me" she said, batting her eyelashes and getting closer as she did. Cutting nodded dumbly before leaping on her and roughly kissing her.

"What's that noise?" spike grumbled as he walked out of bed. It was coming from the stranger's room. Spike opened the door just enough to hear what he was saying.

"Oh yes, I love you Rarity" Cutting mumbled in his sleep. Everything blanked out for Spike for a few seconds. It took every last bit of control he had not to torch the room. Steam rose from his head and thankfully blanked out the other things Cutting was mumbling. Spike growled savagely. Rarity was his! No one would take his property! His eyes slitted breifly before Spike walked back to his bed, plotting how to get rid of a rival.


	4. Chapter 4

The instant Cutting woke up he charged to the the window and emptied his stomach on the grass. After he was done vomiting he tried to remember what could have made him so sick. Unfortunately for him, last night was a blur of events that he could not pin down. He staggered downstairs and found Twilight brewing something in a cauldron.

"What happened? And why do I feel like my nerve chain has been spiked?" Cutting groaned miserably. Twilight raised her eye ridge at the nerve chain comment but ignored it while pouring her potion into a glass.

"I won't go into the details but you couldn't handle your drink, got drunk, and probably have a terrible hangover." Twilight said while adding some magic to the potion. Cutting had no clue what a "hangover" was but he knew he wanted it to go away. "Here, this will help get rid of the hangover" Twilight said before pushing him the now energized potion. Cutting looked at it with suspicion. What if this was like "Everclear"? In the end Cutting's pain won out. He gulped down the brew in one swig then tried to find Spike. The dragon had seemed interesting and he had been willing to talk with him.

"Where is Spike?" Cutting questioned, already feeling his headache subside. Whatever Twilight had given him worked fast.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him all morning. He can handle himself though, he'll be fine" Twilight said in a way that made it sound like she was convincing herself.

"What do I do now?" Cutting questioned, hoping the mare could talk about something to take his mind off of things.

"Well, you could try and find a job if you want something to do" Twilight said after thinking for a few seconds. Cutting sighed under his breath at the comment. He had hoped that he'd be able to just frolick about without any responsiblities. Obviously, ponies had the same work ettiquette as humans.

"Do you know of any job opportunities?" Cutting said hoping against hope that she wouldn't say what his body wanted to hear.

"Well I hear Rarity has a job opening" she said in a tone which suggested that it was the only choice. Cutting launched into a string of curses in Kaiju

"Filii canis! Quid opus est exlecebra haerebam" he screamed, his ears turning red due to his heart disagreeing with him. Twilight blinked as if trying to see if this was all a dream. Cutting felt his blush intensify as he charged out the door, all the while screaming curses that could probably flinch even punks like Leatherback. Why was he so attracted to that mare!? Actually, a better question was, why was he so adamant against it? If he was going to be a pony forever(something which he had accepted yesterday) then he should be happy as a pony.

In no time Cutting was at Rarity's boutique filling out inventory for the alabaster unicorn. Cutting however ignored the paper work and focused on trying to think of the right way to tell her. I have dreams of you screwing me? No and very creepy. He sighed to himself before focusing on the task at hoof again. Heh, maybe there was something in the atmosphere since he would've never said that as Knifehead. Come to think of it, he called himself Cutting Edge even in his mind now. After several hours that made Cutting wish he had fingers or claws, the inventory was finished and Rarity praised him.

"I simply can't thank you enough Cutting, I do anything for you?" she said while smiling kindly. Cutting smirked as he thought of a few things involving worms and Leatherback's EMP organ. Cutting slapped himself mentally for the disturbing image. That he would not tell her. He tapped his forelimbs nervously, a nervous tic he had even as a kaiju. In the end, he decided that he would just tell her straight up about his infatuation. Just as his mouth opened the roof was torn off.

A huge dragon easily half the size of a Jaeger stood above Rarity and Cutting holding the roof in his claws. It grinned savagely while large globs of drool dripped from his mouth. Strangely Cutting was not thinking of the impending danger, but of himself.

"So that's why all the humans run when kaiju go near them" Cutting muttered to himself. It was really an eye opener since it was easy pretending humans didn't have feeling and were like insects because of their size. A wave of guilt hit him as he thought of how many people the kaiju had slaughtered. Even though he knew that the Precursors had ordered it, Cutting couldn't help but feel guilty. After all most kaiju enjoyed killing and would probably have killed humans without the Precursors' order. He didn't have time to ponder the issue any further as the dragon picked both him and Rarity up in one giant claw. "Would this be a good time to say that I love you?" Cutting questioned since among kaiju, lovers in battle were near sacred in terms of respect and honor. He berated himself mentally for being an idiot. His first romantic comment and it was while they were about to get eaten by a dragon. Perhaps his brain being guilty attributed to that. Surprisingly, Rarity answered him.

"I'm attracted to you but give me a few dates and we'll work something out" Rarity screamed to be heard over the wind as the dragon swept his hand through the air.

"No!" the dragon bellowed in rage. "Rarity is mine!" Rarity's eyes widened in shock

"Spike?" she said disappointedly to the dragon. Cutting's eyes widened in shock. This huge beast was Spike?! The friendly little dragon he had talked to yesterday being this huge beast confused Cutting. Rarity sensed his confusion and gave him an answer "When dragons get greedy or possessive they grow rapidly. It's why dragon have hoards" This revelation just made things worse for them Cutting realized. Spike obviously thought Rarity was his property judging by his reaction which meant he was pissed off at him! Spike brought him to eye-level while licking his chops savagely.

"Any last words, thief?" the dragon chuckled as he dangled Cutting above his maw. Cutting didn't know if it was the atmosphere or the new body driving him crazy but then he had a revelation. Spike was doing exactly what most kaiju did and however hypocrital it might be, he had to save these ponies from the fate Earth was doomed to.

"Yes you are a big coward!" Cutting screamed down Spike's throat. The bold statement confused the dragon and gave it a pause. "Just because you are stronger than somebody does not give you the right to bully them. You have to be the better creature and show that you're stronger inside as well" Cutting said adding more fuel to fire due to his personal experiences. "Attacking those weaker than you just shows how afraid and pathetic you really are" Cutting said causing one of Spike's pupils to turn into a circle again. "I know this because I was like you once but now I know that being better in spirit is far better than being better physically. Spike's other pupil turned into a circle again, quickly followed by the rest of his body returning to normal. Suddenly they were in free-fall from at least one hundred fifty feet. "I'm also an agent of destruction called a kaiju who was mind-controlled" he blurted in his fear. For the fourth time since he had gotten to Equestria, Cutting fainted. Just before he did though, he saw a rainbow. A pretty rainbow.

When Cutting woke up the first thing he saw was Spike looking awkwardly apologetic. They didn't have to exchange words as Spike had heard what Cutting had said.

"Well, now you know how I felt" Cutting said quietly. Spike looked at him before giving him a hug which they both knew meant "I'm sorry". "It'll be hard for Rarity to love a monster" Cutting said, remembering that Rarity had been right next to him as they fell.

"About that, when Fluttershy caught Rarity she accidentally let her fall near the ground" Spike said, looking oddly happy about that news. "Rarity has mild amnesia as in she can't remember when we fell" Spike said before looking at Cutting and nodding. The nod was a blessing that Spike was fine with their relationship. Cutting smiled dumbly as he realized what this meant for his relationship with her. The slate was clean for Cutting and he could move in on Rarity without fear of being treated like a monster. Knifehead may have died but Cutting Edge lived on.


	5. Chapter 5

If the Jaeger she was carrying had better optics it might have seen tears flying from Otachi's face. She knew the instant the Jaeger attacked that Leatherback, her mate, was dead. In agonized fury, Otachi slammed the murderer against rooftops and began to ascend into the atmosphere. Her grief was so great that back under the Breach, the Precursors decided that she was unfit for active service and was to be decommissioned. Otachi knew this through her psychic link and didn't care as it meant she'd join her beloved soon. Before she died though, she would get her revenge on the Jaeger that caused her this pain. Had she been in a better state of mind she might have noticed a chain extending from the mecha's arm. This was a mistake that would cost both her and her unborn infant (though she would never knew she was pregnant) dearly. The chain hardened into a long sword and slashed through Otachi's gut. Otachi coughed up bright blue blood and looked at her bottom half falling apart from her. Seconds before expiring, the pain finally reached her stunned nerves and caused her to screech in despair before her heart stopped.

Leatherback felt bright light enter his eyes when he woke up from dying. Wait, what?! Leatherback remembered quite clearly his attempt to stop the Jaeger ending in his arm being blasted off and being eviscerated by a plasma cannon. Even though kaiju could survive heinous injury, getting the chest cavity destroyed was going to be fatal. It was the preferred method of killing a kaiju actually and had happened to Knifehead, Verocitor, and Mutavore to name a few. Leatherback chuckled at the thought of Knifehead getting sent flying by the plasma cannon. It had been no secret that Leatherback despised Knifehead because of how his model was now considered outdated and therefore hurt Leatherback's pride that he had to live with a piece of old junk. Leatherback then felt a small twinge of sorrow for the category three. Being shot to death by a plasma cannon was not a nice way to go as Leatherback had just found out. Shaking himself back into the present, Leatherback inspected his body. It had gray fur with hooves at the end of four legs. Leatherback snarled in disgust at this putrid body before wishing he had talked more to Raiju. Raiju had spouted some mumbo-jumbo about the kaiju coming back as furry plush things and Leatherback had dismissed her as a crackpot. Rage flowed through Leatherback's veins at the hopelessness of his new body. Then he remembered Otachi's teachings and took a deep breath and scoped the situation better. He had to find some water or glass and find out what he looked like. Unfortunately, the heavens answered his plea with a deluge of rain.

"Oh efutue" Leatherback growled in his native tongue. The gods must hate him for them to punish him so. At least there were a few trees nearby that would provide shelter. Leatherback trotted over to one and looked at his reflection. The first thought to run through his mind was how similar he looked to the characters in a human show that Kaiceph(gay moron to get killed by one nuke)watched through the data streams he was given. Leatherback had an equine body with gray fur and a teal mane as well as two fluffy wings. His hair was a wild mop that spilled over his eyes like an upside down bowl and his tail was short cropped and tucked into a small poof. Leatherback spread his new wings while looking at them with as much disdain as he could muster. While they looked stupid, they would help him scope out the area much faster than on foot-or hoof now. Before he could move though, a blur of teal fur slammed into him and started attempting to gore him with a short horn. Leatherback snarled in surprise before charging forward and tripping the other pony with his tackle. The pony got up and Leatherback could look at it more clearly. It had pale teal fur as with a mane the color of granite. Leatherback felt almost like this pony was a reverse of him via color. The mane spiked into two, separate prongs that swept back onto the back of her neck around her horn. The tail was long and ended with thick knot that could probably serve as an effective club.

"Get out from under my tree before I make you" the pony growled while snorting steam out her nostrils and lighting up her horn. Leatherback then realized why the mare felt familiar.

"Otachi?" Leatherback questioned to the unicorn mare. The unicorn let down her guard at the comment. "It's me, Leatherback" he said, stepping closer as he did. What Leatherback expected was a romantic kiss like in the movies Scunner pirated. What he got was a brutal smack to the face with the knot at the end of her tail. He had been right, it could be used as a weapon. While Leatherback attempted to right himself, the unicorn leaped onto him and held her glowing horn against his face.

"Who told you that name you nebulo!" she hissed with hatred plain in her voice.

"I am Leatherback, Otachi" Leatherback whimpered as the horn's heat started becoming uncomfortable

"You lie! I saw him die"

"Remember when we first met at Karloff's flesh pit and how you beat me up in the combat game" With that Otachi's eyes softened and her horn's glow faded. She climbed off of him with a blush creeping across her face. Just as she was about to open her mouth Leatherback bucked her in the face and sent her to the floor of the forest.

Otachi got up and licked the blood off her lip before responding "Yup, you're the genuine article" She then hugged the pegasus firmly and let some of her blood drip onto his fur to signify their fight was over, for to kaiju blood was a sacred thing to only be used at the end of battles or in battle. "But you died" Otachi said dejectedly.

"I figured out what happened" Leahterback said, puffing out his chest and involuntarily puffing out his feathers.

"Sing your praises, my mate just used his brain" the unicorn teased with a light shove. Leatherback scowled and gave Otachi a look that could atomize her if looks could kill.

"You know that crap Raiju was spouting? Turns out she was right" Leatherback said with considerably less pride than before.

"If I ever see Raiju again, I promise I will apologize for dishonoring her and remake our friendship" Otachi said, remembering when she had heard Raiju's story and publicly dishonored her by denouncing their friendship.

"Uh, Otachi I think we should go" Leatherback said sounding very afraid all of a sudden.

"Why?" Otachi asked in confusion. She looked around and took a few steps to check for what had scared Leatherback. She felt her hoof go into something squishy on her second step back. Looking in between her legs revealed that the tree hid the entrance of a cave and she had just stepped on something's eye. The loud roar that followed blew both ponies back several feet with its power. "Oh, that's why" Otachi muttered in an attempt to keep her cool when the beast crawled out of the cave.


	6. Chapter 6

Cutting Edge deftly sliced through the fruit before tossing both halves into the air and impaling the larger one with his knife. The smaller half was swallowed whole as it came down. Cutting Edge had found out that even without his horn he was still an expert in cutting things. Truth be told Cutting enjoyed life as a pony more than as a kaiju. Not only was their life expectancy longer than ten years, he was also free of the silly war that the Precursors were waging. It saddened him to think of how many humans had died, surely by now the planet was conquered. The humans had been resourceful and honorable opponents and many kaiju wondered why the Precursors did not propose an alliance instead of losing kaiju faster than ever before. Whether it was pride or stupidity, Cutting knew that in Ponyville he was safe from the war. Cutting sighed and went over to the mirror while chewing up the apple on his knife. He had gotten a nice suit made from amethyst shards that had been mined by Spike. Cutting was going to go with a flesh suit until Spike reminded him that ponies would find that revolting and that flesh suits were dead and not alive. It had been about a week since the second Spike incident and throughout that time Cutting had been trying to get Rarity to date him. What happened whenever he met her was that he'd start stuttering like a moron and change subjects as fast as possible. It had gotten to the point where he almost wanted Spike to grow again so that he could tell Rarity again.

"Come on this time I will tell her" Cutting said to himself. He took a deep breath and opened the door. The sun was setting and Luna was raising her night. Before he could move two steps he heard a loud roar from the Everfree Forest. "Or maybe I'll just suit up and take on a dragon" he muttered angrily. Cutting stomped back into his rental home, took off his suit, and put on the guard armor he had been given. Twilight had pulled some strings and now he was a ranger protecting Ponyville from monsters. The pay was not that good but it provided an outlet for the kaiju urges that were still in his brain. It made him shudder to think that one day he might revert to his programming and eat a pony. The silver armor marked him as a minor but he was quickly climbing the ranks into becoming an officer. It had gauntlets to cover his lower leg while leaving the upper leg exposed for movement. The chest plate curved around, protecting his back and shoulders as well. The final piece was the helmet, a large plate to cover the head and back of the neck with a mask to cover his face but leave his eyes open. Cutting Edge grabbed about ten knives, scalpels, and punch blades and strapped them to his body before opening the door and rushing towards the Everfree Forest.

Otachi shrieked as she flapped her arms, briefly forgetting she didn't have wings anymore. The dragon that was chasing them had green scales with a yellow eye. The other eye was bloodshot from when she had stepped in it. Leatherback buzzed his wings and didn't really fly so much as super hop. A whip from the drake's tail sent them both sprawling and stopped their frantic run. They hugged each other in terror as the dragon got closer, drool dripping from it's maw. They had only been reincarnated for five minutes and they were going to die again. The dragon then left them alone and stood up growling. Otachi and Leatherback turned to see who had gotten the dragon's attention. A yellow pony with at least eight daggers strapped to him and imposing armor that made him look far bigger than he really was.

"Go now Futs Lung before I shank you like I did to Ladon" the yellow pony growled and for a second, Otachi and Leatherback were wondering if they should take their chances with Futs Lung or the pony. The dragon snorted in response and turned it's back to walk away. That was when Leatherback did something monumentally stupid.

"Hey, asinus! Come get me you scared lizard!" he yelled before tapping into his pegasi magic and blasting the dragon with a lightning bolt. Their savior looked like he was about to shank them when the dragon charged back with a vengeance and pinned him to the ground. Leatherback continued blasting the dragon only for it to flare its wings and knock him away like a fly. Otachi tried to upchuck acid and expected nothing to happen. What did happen was her horn glowing cyan and spraying acid at the dragon's face. The dragon howled with pain and fell to the ground, screeching in agony. The yellow pony kicked free and tossed down a flare before stomping over to Otachi. Otachi got her expectations turned again when he pulled out his blade and shoved it up her nose just hard enough to draw blood.

"What the hell was that?! We could have gotten away with no one getting hurt but your tool of a friend was too stupid wasn't he? Now the dragon clans are going to have our ass unless you convince them to spare you" the ranger roared in her face before pulling the knife away.

"But I saved you" Otachi managed to sputter. Why was he so pissed off?

"I could have gotten out myself and look what you did to him. There's a reason why acid attacks are banned you violent prick" the pony said, pulling out a med kit and putting some liquid over the acid still on the dragon's face. Otachi was indeed horrified with what the acid had done. The dragon looked like one of the killers from Belobog's private collection(nightmare on friday the thirteenth was the name she thought) with his face scarred and disfigured. "I'll take you back to HQ and we'll process and handle you two" the ranger grunted while pointing at a small squad of other ponies with similar armor albeit orange in their case. As the two reincarnated kaiju were led away, Cutting Edge could not help but feel deja vu. They not only smelt familiar they also looked similar but to what? In a split second he realized who they were after looking at the color of the acid. If Otachi and Leatherback had become ponies then he head plans to make them better ponies.


	7. Chapter 7

Otachi was escorted roughly along by some orange armored ponies while the unconscious Leatherback was dragged by some silver armored ones including their savior. Otachi attempted to spit her acid again but instant her horn lit up, she was slammed to the ground by two orange armored ponies. They clamped a ring around her horn and continued walking toward a small town on the horizon. Things just got worse when Leatherback woke up and opened his mouth

"What? Let me go!" he screamed before getting gagged by the pony who had saved them. Leatherback continued screaming through the gag and by the time they had reached the edge of the town, the guards looked murderous. Otachi attempted to fire some acid but the ring on her horn simply sparked whenever she tried and negated any power she summoned.

"I wouldn't try that if I were you, the guards might get the wrong idea" the pony who had saved them muttered.

"What is your name?" Otachi questioned as calling him "savior" was getting old fast.

"Cutting Edge" the silver armored pony responded. "But you know me as Knifehead" he whispered into Otachi's ear. Otachi flinched but kept her mouth shut for fear of arousing the anger of the one she had bullied many years ago. They walked up to a building which said "Detention Center" and were walked into it. The pony at the desk had blue armor with a clear visor covering his head as opposed to having the large crown that the orange and silver ponies had.

"What happened? This is the Ranger center, not a police station. Your a Minor in rank, you can't just arrest people" the blue armored pony asked, his ears twitching nervously.

"This unicorn sprayed acid at a dragon and permanently disfigured him, Major" Cutting Edge said in a clipped and controlled voice. "This counts as harassment of non-ponies and so is under Ranger jurisdiction" he continued with a tone that suggested he wasn't all that fond of the blue armored pony. The blue armored pony nodded and opened a door that smelled of mildew and dust. "I'll take it from here" Cutting Edge announced as he pushed Otachi and Leatherback down the stairs.

From behind them the Major called out "Congratulations Cutting Edge, for knowledge of the rules you're being promoted to Officer. Expect your orange armor in the morning" Cutting Edge gave a small smile before opening the jail cell to his left and tossing the two former kaiju in.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Leatherback roared, just having succeeded in removing his gag. Otachi's shut up gestures were ignored by the raging pegasus as he slammed against the bars. After a few minutes, Leatherback stopped and Cutting Edge began to talk.

"I used to be Knifehead" he said, giving Leatherback a wicked look that caused the pegasus to gulp. "But now I'm your jailer until Garble comes in to process you guys. Ugh, diplomatic laws make my head hurt" Cutting Edge continued. "Anyway, ponies have taught me to forgive so you're not getting any flak over...previous events and I'll help you" Cutting said in a tone that spoke volumes of how much he wanted to strangle the two ponies

"So how are going to help us?" Otachi asked in an attempt to break the ice, laughing nervously as she did. Cutting Edge nodded much to the prisoners' relief.

"First, you'll need some new names. Otachi and Leatherback are not very ponyish names" Cutting said, absentmindedly twirling one of his knives. Otachi and Leatherback huddled in the corner for a minute discussing ideas while Cutting played with his knife.

"I'll be Electro Wing and Otachi will be Acid Spray" Leatherback responded after a bit. Cutting rolled his eyes at the lameness of the names but jotted them down on the prisoner file.

"Well, all you need to do now is keep your true identities secret and act as a pony" Cutting mumbled, realizing the difficulty of this task. "Oh yeah, I need to catalogue your cutie marks as well" Cutting said, waiting for the funny reaction that was sure to follow. One. Two. Three

"What?!" the two prisoners shrieked in horror. Their scream was drowned out by Cutting's harsh laughter.

"Hahaha, Oh just look at the mark on your flank" he said between titters. Otachi wheeled around to see that there was indeed a picture of a beaker on her flank. While her reaction was surprise, Leatherback's was more dramatic.

"Why am I stuck looking like some immature candy ass fag for the rest of my life? A mark of a cute lightning bolt with a face? That's stupid" Leatherback roared, his wings flapping with rage.

"Gee, I think you missed a few homophobic slurs" Cutting muttered as he left the prisoners alone to file his report. Just as he walked out of the dungeon he was met with the sight of a dragon's stomach. He looked up and saw Garble, the dragon ambassador, staring him in the face. He had only become an ambassador because he's had the most experience with ponies and not for his social skills(Spike had more exposure but he was counted as an Equestrian citizen so he was not applicable)

"Where is the idiot of a pony attacked a dragon?" Garble snarled, his features contorted in rage.

"They're in the dungeon and remember Garble, you can't hurt them via border laws. Not physically anyway" Cutting said, heavily accentuating the word "physically".

"Gotcha" Garble winked as he headed down into the dungeon. Cutting watched as the dragon headed down the stairs and quickly regretted saying that the dragon could hurt them mentally


	8. Chapter 8

Garble walked down the stairs to the dungeon, fire sparking from his nostrils and charring the walls. While he called ponies "namby-pamby", he did respect their might as an empire and going to war with an empire that had several physical gods was not on his to do list. Scarring some ponies mentally, even if they had done the same to a dragon, was not going to fly well. Garble sighed in disappointment at the fact that these ponies would get off with little more than a stern warning. Well, that wasn't entirely true since their court would consist of both dragons and ponies and it was possible for them to receive their deserved punishment. He doubted it though as the dragon council consisted of toothless and senile worms masquerading as wise elders.

"Get out of your cell. We're going to court" Garble said gruffly as he led the two ponies out of the dungeon. The pegasus kept on blathering homophobic slurs every second while the unicorn seemed downcast. Good, she should feel that way for disfiguring a dragon.

"Knifehead is a queer cream puff" the pegasus growled under his breath with fury. Garble whipped around, having had enough of the vulgarity dripping from the prisoner's mouth.

"Shut the Hell up!" Garble yelled, not noticing the irony in his word choice. Otachi, or as she now had to call herself, Acid Spray snorted arrogantly at the dragon's rage. Garble's look of hatred quickly silenced the unicorn's snort. "God, why couldn't Basil or Emerald take this job" Garble muttered, flames starting to burst from his nostrils again. "Just be quiet so I can get this crap over with" Garble moaned, feeling the beginning of a head ache coming on. What he wouldn't give for some really strong sulfur deposits right now. Leatherback eventually ran out of slurs to use and simply sulked while Garble led them to the court room. He refused to use the name "Electro Wing" or act as a pony. Otachi walked up to his side and nuzzled him lightly in an attempt to reassure her furious lover. Leatherback calmed down slightly as the two prisoners were put into a massive court room. On one side, stood several wizened dragons with scars betraying their old age. On the other, a pure white mare with a flowing mane looked out solemnly. The silence was broken instantly.

"Quare iris equa? Potest hic loco adepto ullus magis homosexualis?" Leatherback yelled angrily, causing the court to gasp in shock at the breach in conduct. They didn't know what he was saying thankfully so Otachi was able to quiet Leatherback before he could continue. Cutting Edge sighed from his position in the stands as Celestia and Ladon called the meeting to order. Otachi had a decent chance of getting pardoned but Leatherback was a brute with no sense of tact who would get himself punished.

"We begin this court for the assault of Shenron, now" Ladon called out before extending his aged and torn wings and flying back to his seat.

"You may begin with the prosecution Garble as the closest relative of Shenron" Celestia said, staying in the judge's chair because when a pony was a defendant, Celestia was no longer part of the jury.

"My clutch brother may not have been related to me by blood, but we were raised together and might as well have been" Garble growled, giving Otachi a hateful look. Cutting Edge mentally put Otachi back at the top of his "to be killed" list. He had forgotten that she had assaulted a dragon. The last time that had happened ended in the pony being killed in such a way that even a kaiju would be revolted by. Then again, that was hundreds of years ago. Maybe the dragons mellowed out? "The unicorn, Acid Spray, disfigured and assaulted my brother unprovoked with a banned acid attack. Even her cutie mark reflects this talent." Garble said, hate dripping off his words in such quantity that it was probably thick enough to drink. "My brother is here today to show what she did" Garble hissed furiously before opening the door to the room. A hooded green dragon stepped into the room, keeping it's face covered.

"She did this" he rasped before tossing off the hood. The crowd gasped as they looked at his horribly scarred visage. Only the eye was alive and unwinking in the dead half of the dragon's face, the rest was scabrous scaleless flesh, with the side of the mouth twisted downward into a painful frown. Greenish gums and yellowed teeth hung out of the frozen jaw, and the skin beneath showed a mottled black and purple, hanging in folds, loose and lifeless. He resembled a bleached fish in many respects to put it mildly. The ponies continued gawking in abject horror while the dragons began screaming with fury and attempting to break through the small barrier protecting Otachi.

"Krii! Krii! Krii!" they roared in the ancient dragon tongue for death. A blast of magic from Celestia held the dragons back and made then return to order. Celestia sighed before letting Garble continue.

"As an accomplice to her crime, the pegasus "Electro Wing" will also share her punishment." Garble stated, smirking at the two prisoners while he did. Cutting Edge knew perfectly well now that Otachi and Leatherback were going to get lynched unless he did something.

"I invoke the right of the citizen" Cutting called out to a stunned crowd. It was a once in a life time thing that was used to soften punishment in exchange for befriending the victim. The dragons snarled angrily and the ponies neighed in shock. Garble gave Cutting a vicious glare while Ladon and Celestia discussed on the subject.

"Prisoners, you have two options. Go free or befriend Garble and his brother" Ladon stated in a tone that said quite clearly what would happen if they were let "free". Garble sputtered in anger before going over to his brother and skulking out of the room. Otachi saw the angry mob outside and quickly made up her mind.

"We choose to befriend Garble and his brother" she shouted, shutting up Leatherback with her hoof.

"Very well. You'll move to a middle ground, the Mountain, and live there with Garble and his brother. Your other charges are acquitted." Ladon ruled before letting out a screech that signified the end of court. As Garble walked out he shoved Leatherback.

"What the Hell?" Leatherback snarled at the dragon. Garble turned so the two were practically kissing.

"We...Are...Not...Friends!" Garble roared at Leatherback.


	9. Chapter 9

Cutting Edge held his knives tightly before checking his armor quickly for any problems. His heart was pounding from the deed he had been trusted with, making sure that Otachi, Leatherback, Futs Lung(or Shenron as he liked to call himself for some stupid reason) and Garble didn't kill each other. The Officer armor he had just received was thicker than his Minor armor and orange in color but other than that was very similar. A blast of fire from outside prompted him to activate the armored mask and leap outside, checking for a threat. Instead, he saw Otachi(Acid Spray now he reminded himself) laughing as Futs Lung showed off a few fireballs.

"I'm sorry about the acid thing, I don't know much magic" Otachi said after Futs Lung turned to her.

"It's fine. We dragons heal quickly and I believe that it was just an accident now that I'm getting to know you" Futs Lung commented before returning to target practice. Cutting Edge couldn't believe what he was seeing. Maybe things could work out after all. His hopeful thoughts were ruined by the sound of a punch from Garble as the dragon leaped on top of Electro Wing. Electro retaliated with a close range shock to the drake before the two were pulled apart and knocked together by an angry Cutting Edge.

"Cool it! Get to know each other" Cutting Edge ordered while showing them his knife as a clear warning before going off again to pick up supplies. Of course, the two self-proclaimed alpha males wouldn't mix well. Both had egos that outweighed the Earth and it wasn't uncommon for someone to say that they'd rather put their tongue in an ant hill than talk to them. Cutting checked the supplies and found that they had everything ready. "Alright, we're going to the mountain" Cutting announced before sheathing his knife and picking up their supplies.

"It would be unfortunate to have a rock slide" Garble growled, glaring at Electro Wing with malice.

"Would be even worse to be caught in a storm" Electro retorted with a grunt fueled by testosterone. They continued their little argument as they climbed the mountain, fraying the ears of the others in their party. Somewhat thankfully(for the ears of the party), Electro's prediction came true and they were forced into a small cave. Thankfully the dragons hibernated in the cold and so Cutting could talk to the ponies.

"Nice job Acid Spray, you're well on the route to becoming a model citizen" Cutting complimented to the unicorn, making her stand up and smirk in pride. "Electro on the other h-" Cutting started before dodging a punch from Electro Wing.

"My name is Leatherback you misanthropic freak!" Leatherback screamed in fury.

"Well, you're a pony now and that's not going to change. Might as well get used to the name" Cutting said nonchalantly to the furious pegasus. "As I was saying, you and Garble have preformed terribly and are probably going to end up killing each other" Cutting said while ignoring Electro's furious stomps and snorts.

"AHA! You admit that it's the prick of a dragon's fault?" Electro screamed, bits of spittle clinging to Cutting's face. Cutting ignored the saliva and walked to the edge of the cave to check if the storm had ended. Acid smacked Electro over the head before curling up in a corner to go to sleep. "Are you mad at me?" Electro questioned the only creature he cared about.

"No, I'm sad. I know you can't help it but if you keep doing this, you'll be dead" Acid sniffed sadly in remembrance of her first lover, Trespasser. "Promise me you'll try to control yourself" Acid said firmly, holding her lover in a tight embrace. Electro hated Garble and he hated having to hold his tongue, but he loved Acid more than those two combined.

"Alright, I'll do my best for you" the pegasus promised, causing Acid to shift her body so Electro could snuggle in next to her. He did so gladly and began praying to himself that he could keep his promise before falling asleep. After what seemed like only a few minutes, he was woken up by a loud scraping noise. Opening his eyes, he saw Cutting lazily sharpening a knife against the rock wall.

"Rise and shine everybody, you've rested for 4 hours" Cutting said in a clipped military tone. The dragons crawled to their feet while revealing maws full of teeth as they yawned. Electro was less calm about the wake-up call.

"Quod in Infernum!?" Electro attempted to yell, but in his grogginess it came out more as a high-pitched squeak.

"I find it funny how yesterday, you were spitting homophobic slurs everywhere when judging by your voice, you're the gay one" Garble mocked before beginning to stretch his wings. Electro was tempted to break them off but a look from Acid made him stop, barely.

"No insults" Cutting said sternly before whacking the delinquent dragon with the butt of his knife. Garble snarled but ignored it before continuing his stretching. Acid's look was piercing but Electro's alpha instincts were stronger.

"Nice job you stupid lizard!" Electro yelled at the teenage dragon, causing Acid to face-palm and Garble to chuckle.

"Cutting Edge, Electro Wing insulted me without provocation" the red dragon whined in an act that wouldn't have even fooled a child. Cutting knew perfectly well that Garble had started it but Electro needed to learn a little humility. It had nothing to do with getting revenge fore earlier days Cutting told himself mentally.

"Electro, give me 20 wing-ups" Cutting barked out before kicking the stunned pegasus to wake him up further.

"What?! He started it" Electro growled angrily as his wings began to strain after just 5 wing-ups.

"Tough luck, he reported first and you need to learn humility" Cutting said without a single bit of caring.

"And he doesn't?" Electro managed to gasp out as his lungs burned.

"He does but you're first on my list due to karma" Cutting said before finally giving the signal to let the exhausted Pegasus up. Electro felt like going back to sleep but judging by everyone's attitude, it seemed they were leaving. Electro moaned in self-pity as he saw the trek that awaited them. Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut?


End file.
